It is not surprising that the wisdom and gentle spirit of Mr. Fred Rogers has made such a comeback in recent days.

We are all aware of the unhealthy level of intolerance, constant barrage of ‘in your face’ news, and lack of civility in our culture today.  When I think of February (which many consider the month of love), I reflect again that truly “the quality of our life is the quality of our relationships.”

Mr. Rogers had a difficult childhood due to his being shy, introverted, and overweight. He was bullied and taunted as a child, called “fat Freddy.” I learned that he made friends with himself as much as he could. With a ventriloquist dummy and stuffed animals, he would create his own worlds within the walls of his bedroom. In high school, he overcame his shyness and made a couple of friends, including the head of the football team, who “found out the core of me was okay.”

He was an ordained Presbyterian minister and believed he could make a difference, using television as a way to enhance the lives of children and families.

“I went into television because I hated it so,” Rogers once said in an interview with CNN. “I thought there was some way of using this fabulous instrument to be of nurture to those who would watch and listen.”

When he attended Pittsburgh Theological Seminary, Mr. Rogers also began working with child psychologist, Margaret McFarland. She was his key advisor and collaborator, as well as his consultant for most scripts and songs for 30 years on the television show, Mr. Roger’s Neighborhood.

Most people think of the movie star Tom Hanks as extremely likable. He stated that when he prepared for his role as Mr. Rogers in the movie A Beautiful Day in the Neighborhood, he had to really begin to learn to listen. Hanks learned that children need to feel safe, as well as the importance of using a slower pace to connect with them. If you ever Google lessons from Mr. Rogers, you will find many articles that talk about his wisdom, creativity, and kindness.

Diana Spalding shared “20 Wise Life Lessons from Mr. Rogers”.  I hope these quotes help you on those challenging days.

1. Love isn’t a state of perfect caring. It is an active noun like struggle. To love someone is to strive to accept that person exactly the way he or she is, right here and now.
2. The really important “great” things are never center stage of life’s dramas – they’re always “in the wings.” That’s why it’s so essential for us to be mindful of the humble and the deep rather than the flashy and the superficial.
3. If you could only sense how important you are to the lives of those you meet – how important you can be to the people you may never even dream of. There is something of yourself that you leave at every meeting with another person.
4. The greatest gift you ever give is your honest self.
5. How many times have you noticed that it’s the little quiet moments in the midst of life that seem to give the rest extra special meaning?
6. When I say “It’s you I like,” I’m talking about that part of you that knows that life is far more than anything you can ever see or hear or touch. That deep part of you that allows you to stand for those things without which humankind cannot survive. Love that conquers hate, peace that rises triumphant over war, and justice that proves more powerful than greed.
7. The connections we make in the course of a life – maybe that’s what heaven is.
8. Real strength has to do with helping others.
9. The thing I remember best about successful people I’ve met all through the years is their obvious delight in what they’re doing, and it seems to have very little to do with worldly success. They just love what they’re doing, and they love it in front of others.
10. Discovering the truth about ourselves is a lifetime’s work, but it’s worth the effort.
11. Little by little, we human beings are confronted with situations that give us more and more clues that we are not perfect.
12. I hope you’re proud of yourself for the times you’ve said “yes,” when all it meant was extra work for you and was seemingly helpful only to someone else.
13. As human beings, our job in life is to help people realize how rare and valuable each one of us really is, that each of us has something that no one else has – or ever will – something inside that is unique all time. It is our job to encourage each other to discover that uniqueness and provide ways of developing its expression.
14. When I was a boy, and I would see scary things in the news, my mother would say to me, “Look for the helpers.” You will always find people who are helping. To this day especially in times of disaster, I remember my mother’s words and I’m always comforted by realizing that there are still so many helpers – so many caring people in this world.
15. You’ve made this day a special day by just your being you. There’s no person in the whole world like you. And I like you just the way you are.
16. Often when you think you’re the end of something, you’re at the beginning of something else.
17. I wonder what memories of yours will persist as you go on in life.  My hunch is that the most important will have to do with feelings of loving and being loved – friends, family, teachers, shopkeepers – whoever’s been close to you. As you continue to grow you’ll find many ways of expressing your love, and you’ll discover more and more ways in which others express their love for you.
18. When we love a person, we accept him or her exactly as it is – the lovely with the unlovely, the strong with the fearful, the true mixed in with the façade, and of course the only way we can do it is by accepting ourselves that way.
19. When we choose to be parents we accept another human being as part of ourselves and a large part of our emotional selves will stay with that person as long as we live. From that time on, there will be another person on this earth whose orbit around us will affect us as surely as the moon affects the tides, and affect us in some ways more deeply than anyone else can. Our children are extensions of ourselves.
20. My hunch is that if we allow ourselves to give who we really are to the children in our care, we will in some way inspire cartwheels in their hearts.

Mr. Rogers made an important contribution to all our lives in direct and sometimes indirect ways.  Each of us has our own unique gifts and ways to contribute to others.

If you would like help learning more about your gifts and the ways you make a difference, please contact Methodist Healthcare EAP at 901-683-5658 to schedule a free, confidential appointment.

Susan Erdman, LCSW, CEAP

Counselor

Susan Erdman has a master's degree in pastoral studies from Loyola University in New Orleans and a master’s degree in social work from the University of Tennessee in Memphis. She has worked as an EAP counselor since the 1990s. Before her work in the EAP, she was a mental health specialist at Methodist University Hospital in the eating disorder and dual diagnosis programs. Previously, she worked as a Catholic sister in a retreat center and as a personnel manager in a department store in Honolulu, Hawaii. She is an avid reader and yoga and fitness fan, and she loves to travel in the Mid-South and beyond.