One of the biggest myths about self-care is that it's something you do when you finally have free time. For many, that mindset can become a recipe for chronic exhaustion. There is always another project to do, another task to complete, another meeting to attend, another family member to comfort. If self-care depends on whatever time is left over, it often never happens. Instead of striving for work-life balance, consider pursuing work-life integration. Balance implies that work and life exist on opposite sides of a scale, constantly competing for your attention.

Integration asks a different question: How can I intentionally build a life that includes both meaningful work and meaningful restoration?

Finding Time

The answer begins with redefining self-care. I like to define self-care as something you do at least one to three times each week that gives you a genuine sense of peace and/or joy and has a concrete place in your schedule. Notice what that definition does not include. It is not whatever you happen to squeeze into your free time. It is not scrolling your phone until you fall asleep. It is not simply recovering from being overwhelmed. Real self-care is planned because your well-being is important enough to deserve a place on your calendar. For some people, that may be a walk with a friend, an early workout, attending a faith service, reading on the back porch with a cup of coffee, playing pickleball, spending uninterrupted time with family, or working on a hobby that leaves them feeling refreshed. The activity itself matters less than the outcome. When you finish, do you experience peace? Do you experience joy? If so, you've likely found something worth protecting.

Scheduling Self-Care

Many of us spend our days caring for others. Some have aging parents who need help, some have children who require what seems like all your attention, and then we have friends to encourage, spouses to support, the list goes on. It might seem easier to teach our children emotional regulation, encourage friends to actively seek healthier habits, and remind our parents that prevention is often more effective than treatment. The same principles apply to your own mental health. Waiting until you're burned out before investing in yourself is like waiting until dehydration becomes a medical emergency before taking a drink of water.

This week, look at your calendar. Not your to-do list, but your actual calendar. Is there a recurring appointment dedicated to your own well-being? If not, choose one activity that brings you peace or joy and schedule it. Protect that time with the same commitment you would give to an important meeting or appointment. The people you serve benefit from your knowledge and your compassion. The people you love benefit from your presence. And both are strengthened when you make time to care for the one person who serves them all: you.

If you need help with work-life integration or scheduling self-care, contact Methodist EAP at 901-683-5658 to schedule an appointment.

Jared Davis, LPC-MHSP, NCC

Counselor

Jared Davis is a Licensed Professional Counselor with a Mental Health Services Provider designation. He received both his Bachelor’s degree in Psychology and his Master’s degree in Counseling with a concentration in Couples/Marriage and Family Counseling in addition to his Individual Counseling training from East Tennessee State University.

Jared has experience counseling children, teens, adults, and geriatric clients in inpatient and outpatient facilities. He has worked with clients with a wide scope of mental health issues, personality disorders, and substance abuse issues. He works with clients to help them increase their self-awareness and broaden their perspectives as he walks through the therapeutic process with them. Jared has moved a lot due to being a “military brat,” but is glad to call Memphis home now. He enjoys spending time with his family, learning new languages, and traveling.