Many people have been experiencing a roller coaster of emotions since the COVID-19 pandemic began and changed our way of life. Perhaps you’ve felt frustration over trying to buy groceries, longing for meetings with spiritual and social groups, sadness over coronavirus-related deaths, along with hope that social distancing is working.

There is a word for the conflicting emotions that come when we experience a change in familiar patterns of behavior. That word is grief.

We typically think of grief as something we experience when someone dies, but grief can also happen in response to other losses we may experience in a lifetime. These can include loss of security, loss of health, loss of jobs or even loss of freedom.

Perhaps you’ve had to reschedule weddings, vacations or even graduations. Loss can also include disruptions in our familiar daily routines and unfulfilled dreams.

Society often ill-prepares us with solutions to handle grief. Society teaches us that we should “be strong” or “keep busy” — or a number of other things that generally make us feel like something is wrong with us when we grieve. An added difficulty during this time is that our usual sources of support such as friends, family and even religious communities, may not be available to us due to social distancing or shelter in place orders.

So, how can we cope with this grief?

Pay attention to and acknowledge your feelings each day

Some find it helpful to keep a notepad by the bed and write down the feelings they remember having throughout the day. Do this for a few days and soon you’ll be mindful of your feelings as they come. Once you’re aware of what you’re feeling, acknowledge it and talk about it with someone you trust. 

Utilize technology to maintain connections

If COVID-19 has you socially isolated from your family and friends, there are numerous free apps available for video calls. Seeing the caring face of a loved one can lift your spirits and may make it easier to manage your grief during this time. If video calls are unavailable to you, don’t underestimate the power of a phone call. These days, we text, email or comment on social media more than we talk by phone, but hearing the voice of a caring friend, along with actually speaking our emotional words are both powerful tools, even if you don’t have the video to go with it.

Consider using technology to engage with spiritual communities

Many religious communities are offering online services. If your particular congregation is not, you may be able to find a like-minded congregation that is streaming worship services.

The bottom line is that the emotions you’re feeling are normal and natural. Despite being socially distant, technology enables us to avoid social isolation. Use technology to your advantage to connect with people and spiritual communities who will listen to you as you share your emotional pain and will walk with you on this journey.

For more information about grief counseling, contact Mark Smith at mark.smith@mlh.org or 901-516-1600.

If you’re feeling hopeless and believe you may be a danger to yourself or others, call the Suicide Prevention Hotline at 1-800-273-8255